Being Honest With Yourself, Even If It Hurts

In more recent months I’ve been challenging, and facing, the fear that creeps up when I think of what others may think of me.

Growing up, my very philosophical parents used to try and soothe the very angsty teen version of me by saying, “don’t worry, when you get older, you’ll care less of what others think of you.”

It’s got me thinking that as we get older, we may care less of what others think, but what I really believe happens is that we begin to care more about what we ourselves think.

By caring more about what we deem important we light up in the world, we begin to take action on what really matters to us, and we begin to take steps towards the business, creative practice, or career that has been calling us.

But most importantly, by caring more about what we think of our own lives, we begin to find fulfillment in simply being ourselves.

This is a friendly reminder from someone who has been actively practicing radical honesty in her daily life — in creative practice, relationships, and career.

It will be uncomfortable, and it may even hurt, but you’re doing it for you.

Be honest with yourself.

Be honest about the life you crave.

Be honest about who you’re becoming.

At the end of the day, the approval you’re seeking is your own.

 

 

Seeing Failure As Part of the Process

I’ve realized that deep feelings of satisfaction come from our ability to stick with something long term to see the fruits of our labor. Although, to be honest, I want to instantly feel like an expert at whatever I’m working on, and completely bypass the failure part.

My fitness coach recently told me, “everythingĀ  important in our lives is going to require effort — and most likely, lots of it.” This of course happened when I was wobbling on the ground trying to hold a plank position.

Our ability, or inability, to stick it out with something is really the determining factor in our ability to get better at it. This means everything from work, fitness, business, writing, to relationships. This means it’s going to suck, look messy, and frustrate us.

I’m working on admitting to myself when I’ve felt like I’ve failed. And instead of giving up, or hiding, or ghosting from it, like my usual M.O, I’ve been getting back to it. Whether it’s being embarrassed about writing a piece that got no reactions/likes, or having a workout where I didn’t give my all, or whether it’s having an uncomfortable conversation in my work or relationship, I’m getting back to it.

I realize that the contrast of feeling wrong, or feeling like I failed, is also part of the process. And the sooner I get back to it, the better I feel.

What about you? How do you handle failure in your life, art, and business?