SAYING GOODBYE

I moved around a lot my whole life. I lost count around the time I was in 6th grade but I know it’s a lot. I used to be pretty envious of friends who got to live in one house their whole lives and had the same friends since they were in kindergarten. Well, it turns out the grass is always greener on the other side because those friends wished they experienced different places like I constantly did.

Now as an adult, I reflect a lot on how I was raised and not only am I thankful but I really admire my parents for all they did for us. I am no longer envious of people because I really have no concept of people’s lives, I only know my own experience.

One thing that comes with moving around a lot is that you’re constantly saying goodbye and having to make new friends. At a young age, I just decided that I wouldn’t make a big deal about moving away and just tell my friends I would see them again soon. I decided that I didn’t want to say goodbye. I didn’t realize it at the time but am aware now of the avoidance behavior not saying goodbye entails. To this day, I still find myself not saying goodbye to friends that move away because it’s too sad.

With social-media, you never feel as if people ever leave your life…. until someone in your life passes away and you never got to say goodbye or how you really felt. A couple of weeks ago I had to go to someone’s funeral and face the fact that I would no longer say hello or goodbye to them. It was a hard reality to face and I don’t know how you ever feel okay. I still remember the last time I saw them and how we said we both said we wouldn’t say goodbye but see you later. I would have never in a million years thought that the next time I would see them was at their funeral.

This has made me really think about people in my life that I really care about and the importance of saying what you mean, saying what you feel, and saying goodbye. With or without social media we are fragile beings. Life is unpredictable and sometimes unfair.

Dealing with loss is a process and a journey and I find myself thinking about what that is and what it means. We learn and grow from experiences and especially from each other. I am learning to say goodbye and what it really means.

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xo,
Olivia

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